


Good For You

by runovertome



Category: I.O.I (Band), PRISTIN (Band), Pledis Girlz (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-23
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-09-26 11:22:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9893744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runovertome/pseuds/runovertome
Summary: “I slept with Minghao last night,” she says. Nayoung freezes.x-posted from AFF.Explicit.





	1. Good For You

“I slept with Minghao last night,” she says.

Nayoung freezes.

“You heard, didn't you? That Minghao was out.”

Nayoung nods. Minkyung had texted her about it but she had not given it much thought - she knew the Seventeen boys but she had never been terribly close to them, and most certainly not to Minghao who barely spoke Korean.

She also knows that Jieqiong had been out last night but had assumed she had been hanging out with some of the other Chinese idols like Cheng Xiao or Sally.

Not Minghao.

“Ah,” Nayoung says, wants to ask what kind of sleeping she means even though she knows.

Jieqiong curls herself into a little ball, “It was weird.”

If this were anyone else, Nayoung would nod and say that yes, sex tended to be weird, especially if it was one's first time.

She stays silent.

“I don't know,” Jieqiong says, “I guess I don't know what I was expecting but it wasn't that.”

“Ah,” Nayoung says when she wants to say, why Minghao. Why now. Why are you telling this to me and not Eunwoo or Siyeon.

Well, fine, she knows why. Those two would never let her live it down, knowing of her crush on him. And Jieqiong had had a crush on Minghao for the longest time so the person makes sense. And she was now an adult, so the timing makes sense too.

“I don't think I like him that way anymore,” Jieqiong says.

“Did he-”

Jieqiong shakes her head, “I asked. I wouldn't let him do anything I didn't want him to do.”

She looks at Nayoung, “You know that.”

Nayoung nods. She knows that.

“Have you,” Jieqiong peers up at her from behind her lashes, has absolutely no idea how alluring she looks.

Nayoung waits for her to finish her sentence but she does not.

Jieqiong is clearly waiting for her to answer.

Nayoung pauses, not wanting to give out more information than is strictly necessary but also not wanting to lie.

“Not with a guy,” she says finally.

Jieqiong’s eyes widen, “O-Oh.”

They lapse into silence. Nayoung thinks she should have phrased it better but supposes they had just had a discussion about sex so it is probably fine.

Jieqiong appears very occupied with staring at her knees.

“Are you alright?” She looks at Jieqiong, “Are you hurting anywhere?”

Jieqiong squirms, flushes,“not really.”

“That's good then,” Nayoung says.

* * *

Nayoung does her best to not think about it all day, which is plenty easy since they are busy and she does not have the time to respond to her ever-buzzing phone.

By the time she gets to reading her texts that evening, Eunwoo and Minkyung have basically given up on trying to get her opinion on Minghao sleeping with someone that he will not talk about so it must either have been the best or the worst. She tries not to think about which one it was.

Btw, the last text reads, I heard Jieqiong was out last night with the Chinese idols. She didn't say much about it so you should check in on her.

Nayoung archives the message immediately and does not respond.

* * *

It has been a week and for the first time, Chungha is out for the night.

Nayoung wishes Chungha were not out because that would mean that she could not possibly be in this position.

Jieqiong stands by the closed door in a too large t-shirt and too short shorts, eyes flicking between her and the floor.

“I-I understand if you don't want to,” she says, “but I just kinda thought that… I trust you.”

She can see why Minghao said yes, not that she even really needed to care about what he thought to make her own decision in the first place.

“I'm not trying to take advantage of you or blackmail you,” Jieqiong continues, “it's alright if you-yeah I guess I'll just leave now. Please try to forget I-”

Does this count as taking advantage of someone, Nayoung vaguely wonders, if that someone is entirely willing?

“No,” she says.

“N-No?”

“I was just surprised.”

“Yeah,” Jieqiong says, “I can see how this would be surprising.”

Nayoung nods, “You're sure though?”

Jieqiong fiddles with her fingers, licks her lips, and looks up from beneath her eyelashes which drives Nayoung entirely crazy, “I-I guess?”

“Yes or no,” Nayoung says.

Jieqiong frowns but nods.

“I don't want you to regret this,” Nayoung says, despite herself, “Don't force yourself into something you don't want to do. Any time you want me to stop, just say it, alright?”

Jieqiong looks down, takes in a deep breath, looks back up, “alright.”

Nayoung closes the distance with a step, lets her eyes sweep up and down before she leans in, kisses just the corner of Jieqiong’s mouth. Jieqiong does not pull away so Nayoung trails kisses up her jawline, feels the sharp intake of Jieqiong’s breath on her cheek.

Her hands reach down, tug at the waistband of those tiny shorts that she knows Jieqiong wore on purpose.

Jieqiong squeaks, “Here?”

Nayoung silences her with her mouth but gently tugs her over to sit on the bed then pulls slightly away.

“W-What are you looking at?”

Jieqiong tugs at the hem of her shirt, looks up at Nayoung with those eyes that she has always known she would not be able to resist.

Nayoung dives back in for another kiss, “You.”

“H-Hey!” Jieqiong’s lips move under hers and Nayoung smiles.

She reaches down into the shorts once more, winds her hands around Jieqiong’s hips, tries not to be surprised to not feel a second waistband underneath them. Nayoung reaches up instead, breaks the kiss and lifts her shirt over her head. Goddamn Jieqiong is beautiful.

The shirt finds its way to the floor as she returns her mouth to Jieqiong’s skin, this time trailing kisses downwards to her neck, collarbone and finally taking a nipple in her lips as her fingers gently squeeze the other.

Jieqiong moans and Nayoung has not ever been so turned on by a single sound.

“Shit,” Jieqiong breathes, “this-”

Nayoung rakes her teeth lightly over the nipple then sucks and Jieqiong’s breath catches. Nayoung pushes them down onto the bed now, releases her mouth with an audible pop.

Jieqiong’s hair is tousled, her face flushed, eyes slowly opening, mouth slightly open, and Nayoung has never been more proud of herself. She draws lines with her tongue down Jieqiong’s chest, circles her bellybutton and feels her stomach tense.

“Relax,” she smiles, “I'm not going to hurt you.”

“I-I know,” comes the breathless response.

Nayoung presses kisses downwards, tugs at the waistband and Jieqiong lifts her hips to let the shorts slide off.

Part of Nayoung wants to pause and drink this sight in. The other insatiable part wins and she leans down, nuzzles and then licks, a quick upwards stroke.

Jieqiong’s hand shoots down and she squeaks again. Nayoung takes her hand in hers, feels the death grip.

“Relax,” she breathes, entirely aware of how the air is going to drive Jieqiong crazy.

Sure enough, Jieqiong whimpers and it is the cutest. Nayoung flicks at her nub with her tongue, teases and is rewarded with a twitch of Jieqiong’s hips. Another flick and another twitch. She can feel Jieqiong’s legs trembling ever so slightly, rubs slow firm circles on her stomach with the hand not being clung to as a lifeline.

A third flick, a sharp inhalation from Jieqiong and Nayoung dives in. Teasing makes two people wait and she thinks she has been more than patient enough tonight.

She presses her lips in, takes the clit into her mouth and sucks lightly. Jieqiong’s hips buck straight upwards and Nayoung barely reacts in time.

“F-Fu-,” Jieqiong breathes.

“Shh,” Nayoung lets Jieqiong feel the shapes her lips make, “don't startle the kids.”

Jieqiong’s reply is a strangled moan as Nayoung sucks lightly again, applying then releasing pressure. Thighs close around her head and Jieqiong’s free hand fists the sheets so tightly Nayoung can feel them move.

She can feel the tension building, can hear Jieqiong’s breath getting louder and harsher, knows she is getting close.

She could stop but that would be cruel.

Instead she builds the wave, feels Jieqiong’s stomach tense beneath her palm, measures the trembling of hips with her lips and then dips her tongue a little lower to taste. A slow, languid lick gathers wetness on her tongue and Nayoung pauses.

Jieqiong’s whine is low, pleading, and strikes straight into her heart but Nayoung is not quite ready to let her go.

Her hand moves downwards, trails over Jieqiong’s clit which she lightly brushes, sending shivers and twitches that she can feel with her lips. Jieqiong’s thighs clench.

“May I,” Nayoung whispers, finger circling her folds.

Jieqiong is clearly too far gone to respond beyond a soft moan.

She gently presses a finger in knuckle deep as she leans back down to lick.

Jieqiong’s hips jerk and she hears a little whimper.

“I got you,” Nayoung breathes, punctuates each word with a flick of her tongue, lets her finger slowly slide further in, slowly curls it upwards.

Jieqiong’s hand flies to Nayoung’s hair as her back arches and her hips try to sink into the bed and escape.

Nayoung does not let her, straightens her finger and beckons again, this time sucking. The grip on her hair only tightens, the thighs around her tremble and Jieqiong’s hips thrust upwards this time.

She curls that one finger again and this time, gently tugs upwards as she leans down for one last long lick.

She does not have the lips to silence the long moan that escapes, nor the hands to soothe the trembling. Instead, she holds Jieqiong’s hand as the younger rides out the wave, hips thrusting into Nayoung’s mouth, Nayoung’s finger still in her.

When at last Jieqiong stills and releases her hair, Nayoung pulls away, straightens up, licks her lips then that one finger.

Jieqiong smiles sleepily up at her, flushed, naked, glowing and Nayoung knows that this is everything she thought it would be, and more.

A hand reaches up and Nayoung lets herself be tugged into the bed. A hand winds its way around her waist and her breath catches but then she hears the soft inhale-exhale of sleep.

Well, fuck.


	2. Trust Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nayoung is halfway done taking the longest shower in her life.

Jieqiong wakes up to find herself tucked neck-deep into blankets, body more relaxed than she can ever remember being in a very long time.

Then she stretches a bare arm out, does not feel a sleeve and remembers what just happened.

Oh.

Oh god.

She fell asleep right after that, didn’t she?

Oh god.

* * *

Nayoung is halfway done taking the longest shower in her life.

Halfway because she still cannot stop thinking about what just happened. There was no way she would have been able to fall straight asleep in that bed but that was two hours ago and that quick run she did outside of their dorm in the freezing cold after she had managed to extricate herself from a very-soundly-asleep Jieqiong’s arms really did nothing.

Besides, the extricating had given her an extremely good look, which did not help in the slightest.

But the run should have taken her mind off of this. It should have tired her out. It should have done something.

Instead every step only reminded her of the trembling she felt, every breath that formed a cloud the soft sounds she coaxed out, every corner she turned the sensation at the tip of her finger that will just not go away.

The shower is clearly not helping either.

She would take a cold shower but she is a responsible adult and this is the middle of the night in the middle of winter and she has no intention of being sick for a week. And oh god Jieqiong just came of age.

Nayoung tries to let the pounding of the water empty her mind like the ascetic monks do but all the emptying seems to do is make her relive the last few hours in her head. (And she knows she really should get out of the shower before she turns into a prune or racks up an insane water and electricity bill or both.)

She gets out of the shower, towels herself down and wonders if she should bother drying her hair with the hair dryer since it is unlikely that she will get any sleep at all tonight. She could sleep outside on the couch, or on Chungha's or Mina’s beds but being in the same room as Jieqiong right now is not something that will help.

It is true that she could sleep in Jieqiong’s bed, but there is realistically no way that would turn out well if everything smells like her.

Nayoung knows she is in trouble.

She should not have done that.

That is what she knows is keeping her awake, not so much that there is no space on her bed, because there is, but that she knows she should not have but she did and she knows she would do it again in a heartbeat if asked.

Because good God that was amazing.

Nayoung gets out of the shower before she thinks too much and comes face to face with the one person she had been desperately trying to not think about.

“Oh hey,” Jieqiong says.

Nayoung is stuck between saying something and running away and so just stands there, blinks.

“So,” Jieqiong says, “Uhm. About that.”

Nayoung is incredibly thankful that they are both fully clothed. Although really she cannot tell if Jieqiong is wearing shorts since the t-shirt is just that oversized.

“Did you just take a shower?”

Jieqiong peers past Nayoung into the now dark bathroom.

Nayoung nods but does not miss the way Jieqiong’s eyes roam up and down her body. She swallows.

Jieqiong takes a step closer to her and Nayoung does her very best to not take a step back.

“Oh,” Jieqiong misreads, retracts the hand that was stretching outwards.

Nayoung looks pointedly at that hand, wills it to come back and land wherever Jieqiong was thinking of putting it. She knows where she wants it to go but is not daring enough to reach out and make that happen.

“I guess I just wanted to say thanks?”

Nayoung looks at the hand which is now gone.

Why is it gone? Why does she not have the guts to put that hand where she wants it?

“For?”

She finds her voice.

“Well,” Jieqiong says, “it was awfully selfish of me to ask you to well, you know.”

“Was it?”

Jieqiong looks at her, frowns.

“I guess? I mean, it was really sudden and you really didn't have to and-”

“Did you like it?”

“-it-wha-what?”

“Was it alright? Does anything hurt?”

Something crosses Jieqiong’s face before she laughs, “I'm alright.”

“Ah,” Nayoung says, “that's, that's good then.”

Jieqiong puts a hand on Nayoung’s crossed arms, sends a shiver up Nayoung’s spine, “are you alright?”

Nayoung blinks. Why would she not be alright?

“I mean, I kinda just uh, fell asleep, right?”

Where is this going? Does she want to know where this is going? Yes, her brain whispers, yes, you do.

Nayoung nods.

“And well,” Jieqiong looks down, her head turns, and her voice drops to a whisper so low that Nayoung cannot hear what she says next. She waits for Jieqiong to look back up, waits for Jieqiong to realize that she could not be heard, has the strangest feeling that she at once does and does not want to ask Jieqiong to repeat herself.

Nayoung can feel the slightest tremble in Jieqiong’s hand.

“I said it doesn’t seem quite fair,” Jieqiong mutters.

Nayoung freezes. Her first instinct is to shake her head, to vehemently deny that it was not fair - if anything she had barely given Jieqiong enough opportunity to properly back out last night before diving straight in and she really should stop thinking about this right now before her thoughts start wandering places she does not want them to go because god damn Jieqiong really might not be wearing shorts right now.

But somehow the words do not emerge and she just stands there.

Jieqiong’s hand leaps off her arm as though burnt, “Oh sorry. Didn’t realize I was still-I’m just going to-”

“No, you’re right, it doesn’t seem quite fair.”

Jieqiong’s eyes widen and Nayoung realizes that she said that aloud.

“I mean-,” Nayoung says.

“No,” Jieqiong says, “It really wasn’t. God that must have been-I’m so sorry I just-,” she flushes, “I just didn’t expect that.”

What Nayoung wants and what Nayoung should do are two very different things right now and while she is not being literally torn apart by the two very different halves of her brain, having to pause and think is making her extremely uncomfortable. She should just run away and avoid this problem except that she is a responsible adult, goddamnit, and responsible adults do not run away and besides, running away would just hurt both of them and she knows it.

She could play it cool.

“Look,” Nayoung says, channels the inner calm adult she never knew she had, “I had fun last night, so there’s no need to feel pressure to do anything.”

There.

She said it aloud.

Acknowledged that they had done something but then glossed over it and provided an out for Jieqiong. They can end the conversation here. She can go to sleep, Jieqiong can go back to her own room. This can be it. Nayoung is quite proud of herself, would be quite proud of herself if her heart were not pounding desperately, rebelliously in her chest.

The same something flickers across Jieqiong’s face, “Ah. I see.”

Nayoung belatedly recognizes it as hurt.

“Though,” her treacherous heart says, “I really wouldn’t mind.”

“Wouldn’t mind?”

“Definitely wouldn’t mind,” Nayoung says, wants to look Jieqiong in the eyes but her gaze falls to Jieqiong’s lips.

Jieqiong licks her upper lip nervously, “You wouldn’t?”

Nayoung knows that she is being an idiot. She has never had such a problem being straightforward and asking for what she wants. Ever. Except now. And maybe yesterday. It is entirely uncharacteristic of her and she knows it, knows why that is the case, but somehow cannot make herself stop doing this.

“No, I wouldn’t,” she says.

“Then you’d like it,” Jieqiong whispers.

“It?”

Nayoung knows she is being slightly cruel to make Jieqiong spell it out like this, but part of her really wants to hear it said aloud.

“You’d like it if I make it up to you,” Jieqiong says.

Nayoung nods.

“You would,” Jieqiong says, places her hand on Nayoung’s arms.

Nayoung nods, looks at her arms then back up at Jieqiong, heart racing.

A smile curls its way onto Jieqiong’s lips, “Yes or no?”

“W-What?”

“Yes or no,” Jieqiong grins, “don’t want you to regret this.”

Nayoung rises to the challenge, leans down so their noses are barely touching, “Impossible.”

“Good,” Jieqiong says, “very good.”

It is only moments into the kiss when Nayoung realizes that one, a hand is extending into her pants and two, they are currently outside the bathroom.

She breaks it off, pulls away, gently tugs at the wrist on her hip, “Not here, the kids.”

Jieqiong pouts.

“C’mon,” Nayoung says, looks pointedly at the hand that is winding its way further into her shorts.

Jieqiong bats her eyelashes. It is the most fake look of innocence that Nayoung has ever seen and she tries her hardest not to laugh.

“Fine,” Jieqiong huffs but does not remove her hand. Instead, she tugs Nayoung backwards into the room until they trip onto each other’s feet and Jieqiong pushes her onto the bed.

“C-Close the door,” Nayoung says when she is allowed to surface between kisses.

Jieqiong groans but the door is locked and closed before she returns, drags her lips on Nayoung’s skin and Nayoung very briefly entertains the thought of where Jieqiong could possibly have learnt this from before the contact drives thoughts in general out of her head.

“I can’t decide,” Jieqiong whispers into her ear, “if I want you to keep talking or not.”

Nayoung is about to reply when Jieqiong nips her earlobe. Instead, shivers run straight down her spine, shivers that clearly do not go unnoticed because she can feel Jieqiong’s smile on her neck.

She feels fingers drag circles over her skin under her shirt before Jieqiong tugs at it and it finds its way to the floor. Lips land on her collarbone then trail downwards and Nayoung knows what she likes and god damn is she getting it now when a tongue flicks one nipple then the next.

Her own hands reach for Jieqiong’s waist but are batted away with a snicker, “making it up, remember?”

She wants to retort but is quickly silenced by Jieqiong’s lips on hers, moans into her mouth when fingers tweak a nipple.

“Shh,” Jieqiong says, looks way too pleased, “don’t startle the kids.”

“That’s not fa-,” Nayoung says, bites back a small ‘Oh’ of surprise when Jieqiong yanks her shorts off.

Jieqiong smirks, slowly moves downwards, “you’re not fair.”

The first breath sends tremors up her spine and Jieqiong dives in, takes her in her mouth and sucks.

Nayoung’s hips thrust involuntarily and she tries to bury her moan but it escapes after a sharp intake of breath.

Jieqiong does not release her, however, drags her tongue and lips slowly, languidly across before she returns with another quick suck.

Nayoung clenches the sheets in a fist, presses her hips into the bed in a bid to escape but it does not work as Jieqiong returns, hums happily which drives her entirely insane and starts a slow rhythm of licking and sucking, so slow that Nayoung is on the brink of hissing in frustration as the heat builds but is not released.

“J-Just-”

Jieqiong’s mouth leaves her, “What?”

Nayoung hears herself whine then feels Jieqiong’s smirk on her again as she continues, whispers, “Just what?”

“Hurry up,” she hisses.

The smirk only grows wider, punctuated by a languid stroke of her tongue, “no.”

“Fu-”

After having tried her darnedest to not imagine what this would be like, she feels a finger pushed slowly into her. Jieqiong wiggles it around, giggles softly at something then quickly assuages any doubts Nayoung had by curling her finger upwards.

Nayoung’s hips buck and she feels the beginning of the wave build and it starts to ebb quickly but her clit is being sucked and holy hell thinking is really fucking hard right now as she feels herself clenching down.

Jieqiong lets out a surprised squeak then a second fingertip pushes into her and Nayoung’s eyes fly open before they flutter shut again.

Jieqiong works her fingers in hilt deep, flicks with her tongue and then the fingers start slowly scissoring, stroking her from the inside and Nayoung just wants it all to stop and start and begin and end and happen already, rides the crests of the wave as she goes higher and higher.

She clenches down hard just as the fingers curl upwards and move, sees the barest edge of stars, moans.

Jieqiong freezes and Nayoung thinks she might strangle someone if only she had command of her arms.

“Keep going,” she hisses, “don’t you dare stop now.”

By now she recognizes Jieqiong’s smirk on her but Jieqiong does as she is told and her fingers start moving again, pressing against her as she pushes back, feels the tremors build.

Jieqiong works into a rhythm, presses, licks, pulls, sucks, tugs in time to Nayoung’s walls squeezing her fingers and soon Nayoung’s hips buck and she moans, tries to shy away from the stimulation but Jieqiong does not release her and it is brilliant and torturous and she does not think it can get any better and then Jieqiong runs her teeth lightly over her clit and Nayoung comes in a flood of sensation.

Then lips are kissing her before she fully comes down and Nayoung can taste herself. She squeaks and Jieqiong laughs, pushes her tongue further in and then slowly pulls her fingers out.

When they finally detach for air, Jieqiong rolls over onto one side, grins like the Cheshire Cat.

“So.”

Nayoung’s hands reach for her waist and do not find clothes in the way.


	3. Make Me Love You

“Good night,” she hears the whisper from just under her chin, voice tucked neatly as Jieqiong’s face snuggles into her chest.

“Mmhm,” she rumbles and gets a soft sleepy giggle in reply.

Nayoung stares at the darkness of the ceiling, feels their breathing slowly synchronize, realizes that she has just made an incredible mistake.

* * *

Jieqiong has always been an earlier riser so it is not at all surprising that Nayoung wakes to no weight on her chest. Instead she is tucked somewhat neatly into the blanket, the edges folded slightly crumpled where it is clear Jieqiong tried then gave up. The thought makes her smile before she remembers what happened.

They should talk.

She knows they should talk but she does not know what to say.

It has been years since the two of them last had one of those middle of the night in the dorm kitchen in the dark talks where Nayoung would chew on cereal as Jieqiong told her about school or her family or Shanghai in the spring. Jieqiong has Eunwoo and Siyeon and Kyungwon and Sungyeon. They have not spoken alone in a while.

Before yesterday, Nayoung's brain whispers. Before yesterday, that is. Before yesterday when you somehow decided that it would be alright to act on those thoughts you have had for a while. Before last night when you basically fucked the living daylights out of each other without figuring out what that meant.

What did it mean, anyway.

Nayoung does not know if she wants to let this be swept under the carpet as a one-off incident, does not know if she has started some form of something, does not know if she wants whatever that means or does not mean.

Her alarm rings then and she has ten minutes to get herself together because they have a schedule.

She finds her sleep shirt on the floor and puts it on before leaving the room.

* * *

They don’t talk about it.

Jieqiong does not even look at her differently, stills maintains her distance, still curls over her phone texting someone, probably Eunwoo, at every break they get.

Nayoung does her leader-y things, herds the kids, counts them, makes sure that the right people get on at the right place, shoos Mina back to the car going back to the Gugudan dorm, manages to pull Doyeon out of the bathroom in time for them to all get mics and go on stage at one of those concerts.

It feels like nothing has changed and she almost wants to make herself believe like nothing has changed but someone wraps their arm around her elbow and she damn near jumps, almost elbowing Yoojung in the face, so no, things have definitely changed.

Jieqiong looks up at the squeak she makes. Their eyes meet before Nayoung looks away first.

Yoojung pouts at her, rubs her cheek against Nayoung’s shoulder and the soft sinking feeling in Nayoung’s stomach does not go away.

“Unnie,” Yoojung whines as Nayoung gently extracts herself from Yoojung’s arms, “where are you going?”

“B-Bathroom,” Nayoung says, grabs her phone in a hurry and strides off toward the bathroom.

* * *

_Hey._

_Good afternoon to you too keke_ , comes the reply.

She sees the typing dots from Minkyung, briefly wonders if somehow they all already know, though that would be strange. Jieqiong is loud and outgoing about herself but never when it involves others and there is no reason why this should be any different, right?

_What’s up, unnie? Aren’t you guys going to be performing soon?_

_Yes._

_Ok…?_

She types out the words “I need help”, then deletes them, watches Minkyung’s typing indicator come on again.

_Did you fight?_ arrives just as she sends her message.

_Did Eunwoo say anything?_

_No, Eunwoo hasn’t said anything. What was it about? You could apologize. You know she doesn’t really bear grudges. Siyeon abandoned her in the middle of Seoul once and they’re still best friends._

Nayoung’s lips curve up into the tiniest smile in the bathroom stall.

Wait.

_How did you know it was me?_

_Pfft, you’d just make her apologize if it were her. And I’d be hearing about it from Eunwoo, duh._

_Ah._

_Alright, how much do you want to get out of Eunwoo?_

_Eunwoo might not know._

_...it’s that bad?!_

_I don’t know if it’s bad._

_Unnie,_ she can imagine Minkyung shaking her head at her phone, _unnie, if Eunwoo doesn’t know, there’s nothing I can do. Just… talk it out, alright?_

_Ok._

_Promise?_

_...yes._

_Alright, all the best for your stage later~ We’ve got to go practice too. I’ll send you the list of songs we’re considering for the concert after we’re done with this practice session._

_I’ll look them over later then. See you._

_T-A-L-K. (Or buy her some candy and then talk.) Bye._

Nayoung sighs but notes that the sinking feeling in her stomach has mostly gone away.

* * *

Of course the feeling comes right back once they are in the car heading back to Pledis so they can meet up with the others and practice for the concert.

Nayoung usually knocks straight out in cars and moving vehicles, something about the movement puts her to sleep instantly, while Jieqiong is usually the kind that cannot be separated from her phone, but today it is Jieqiong’s head lolling against the headrest, threatening to fall on her shoulder while Nayoung fidgets with her fingers, staring out the window at the passing streetlights.

If this were any other member of IOI or the Pledis Girlz, Nayoung knows she would have already gently rested their head on her shoulder which is admittedly a little bony but still comfortable, she is told.

But this is Jieqiong.

There has always been something strange about Jieqiong for Nayoung, something strange she has never quite been able to place.

She knows she cringes harder whenever Jieqiong does aegyo compared to anyone else, is less indulgent with her antics, finds her more embarrassing for the same things that she might praise Yoojung for - Yoojung is admittedly a special kind of super duper cute, but that is beside the point. Her second-hand embarrassment which does not seem to kick in for anyone else kicks in super hard at every. single. thing. Jieqiong does.

She used to not know why at all, used to wish she knew why.

She has a better idea now though it is still fuzzy. She wishes a little differently now, is starting to wish that it was not dawning upon her.

* * *

Minkyung corners her just outside the Pledis bathroom, eyes slightly narrowed in concern.

“You didn't talk,” she says quietly.

Nayoung shakes her head.

“Why? You promised.”

Nayoung shrugs.

“It's hard.”

Minkyung frowns.

“This isn't like you.”

“No,” Nayoung says, “I don't suppose it is.”

* * *

“Hey,” Jieqiong says as they walk to the door of the dorm.

Nayoung turns to her.

“I'm sorry.”

The strangest sense of deja vu comes over Nayoung and she feels the urge to run as far away as fast as she can.

Instead, she manages a “Huh?”

“I probably shouldn't have just left when I woke up.”

“Ah,” says Nayoung, shakes her head.

Jieqiong smiles wryly, “I probably shouldn't even be talking about this, huh.”

Nayoung shrugs.

“But yeah, I should have said something or left a note or something. I don't know.”

Nayoung shrugs again.

Jieqiong takes in a deep breath.

Nayoung watches the way her jaw sets, the way the edges of her mouth set.

“If you'd like to pretend it never happened,” Jieqiong says, grips her other thumb tightly in her hand, “I'm-I'm alright with that.”

“Ah,” says Nayoung.

Jieqiong peeks over and up at her without turning her head, giving Nayoung a ridiculously good view of her jawline.

Nayoung shrugs.

Jieqiong smiles at her but it is not the smile of the times they shared stories over delivery food on the training room floor.

This is thin and wan and the smile Jieqiong forces for the cameras when she cannot muster up enough genuine happiness.

Nayoung squashes the feeling down.

* * *

“All yours,” she emerges from the shower with mostly dry hair, towel in hand.

Jieqiong gets up from the couch, nods at her and enters the steamy bathroom.

Nayoung has avoided turning on the lights in the living room to not disturb the others - already they are not taking their showers in the bathroom attached to the room of five to not wake any of the girls though really they mostly all sleep like the dead, given how few hours they get a day.

She opens the door to her room, sees the moonlight on Chungha’s bedframe and realizes she must have left her glasses in the bathroom.

She does not need them now. She could just go to sleep and not worry about them til tomorrow. It is unlikely that anything will happen to them. But it is also possible that she will forget where they are since she will putting her contacts in for the next day's schedule and will not need her glasses til the evening and by then who knows what she will remember.

She could just knock. She has knocked before. They all have. It would be easy. Just take the glasses and go to sleep.

The very fact that she is standing there thinking about it is enough to give her pause. She needs to work this out. Needs to figure out why Jieqiong’s antics make her so easily embarrassed, why she is even thinking about this.

You're being dumb, Nayoung. Get your wits together and just go get your damn glasses.

She puts her towel down, runs her fingers through her hair so it will dry in a hopefully neater way and gathers up her courage to head out to the bathroom.

Her hand floats just above the door when she hears the water shut off.

Oh.

Maybe she could just wait for Jieqiong to come out instead of knocking. She can still use her phone, after all, just needs to put it a little closer to her face to read.

* * *

She is halfway through the second chapter when she hears it, sitting right by the door waiting for Jieqiong to emerge.

A soft, sharp whimper from inside the bathroom.

Nayoung freezes.

She knew Jieqiong had not been happy about not talking about that night but surely it would not have made her- oh.

Another whimper and now Nayoung knows for sure that Jieqiong is not crying.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

She should not be here. She should not be listening to this.

Then she hears Jieqiong whimper again and for some reason her legs do not want to move and she cannot stand to take the three steps she needs to go into her own room, shut the door behind her and pretend that she did not hear this.

Nayoung sits by the door to the bathroom, phone in her shaking hand.

The whimpers grow softer and Nayoung starts to thank her lucky stars when she hears the first moan and instantly feels heat pooling.

Oh fuck no.

Another low moan and Nayoung's heart pounds audibly in her chest, her jaw clenched and a hand automatically inching towards her stomach before she catches herself.

No, no, no, no, no.

She is not about to get off to listening to Jieqiong. This is not what she meant by ‘not talk about it’ and definitely not a good way to confront her issue, whatever it is, with Jieqiong.

But at the same time Nayoung imagines her sitting on the bathroom floor, droplets of water on her skin, fingers slowly pushing inside, flicking, twisting, turning and pulling out and fuck, just thinking about it is driving her crazy.

A whimper and she feels wetness beneath her fingers and knows in that instant that she has lost as she lets them go back down when Jieqiong whimpers again then moans.

The whimpers get closer together and Nayoung clenches down hard on each, feels it coming and bites back a moan of her own as her back arches because she had not heard these sounds out of Jieqiong before that day and now they haunt her and all she can think about is that stupid grinning face between her legs and exactly how good that felt.

She lets out a small groan of her own just as she hears the intensity of the moans build and for a moment she thinks she hears Jieqiong pause but then the whimpers grow slightly louder and she is breathing and thrusting in time to them as they get faster and faster.

A sudden silent stretch and her fingers freeze in place. She can feel her heart thumping violently in her chest, feels herself still clenching.

So close. So. Fucking. Close.

Just a-

Then a shuddering moan from inside the bathroom, her fingers curl and she tips right over the edge, a whimper escaping from her lips.

She swallows the rest, buries the sounds she wants to make deep down inside, shakily pulls her fingers out.

Then she hears it.

A pant.

And a soft but unmistakable groan.

“Fuck, _Nayoung_.”


	4. Set Me Free

Nayoung hears the footsteps approach the door and stills, rolls over so her face cannot be seen.

The door opens, she hears Jieqiong draw closer then the soft clatter of her glasses on the side table. Her heart pounds, she can hear the lubdub in her ears, feels it in the depths of her stomach as she waits to hear the door close again.

But it does not. 

Instead, a hand on her shoulder, a gentle touch to her head, then she feels Jieqiong’s fingers tremble before the weight lifts and her footsteps leave as well.

The door closes and Nayoung's eyes snap open.

She waits for the light streaming in from under the door to disappear before getting out of bed, throws on warm clothing with shaking fingers, desperately needs to get out of the dorm to think, to be alone for just a while.

So she shoves her feet into sneakers, grabs her large coat, lets the door close a little more loudly behind her than it needs to, and walks.

* * *

It is four in the morning and the sun will be rising in a few hours but for now Nayoung takes quick hurried strides down the mostly empty streets. It is too late for most drunk people to be standing in the remnants of the slush waiting for taxis to take them home but still a little too early for most but the wet market workers to be up and about.

The city is quiet, quieter with a thin sheen of winter and the biting cold that will only get worse before the sun rises, and Nayoung's heart is pouring desperately, rebelliously, traitorously in her chest.

Her feet automatically trace this path - she would run but she does not run, has not run in a long time, and her legs are long enough to keep a good pace. It has been a while since she has needed this, been a while since she has needed to be at the river right as the sun comes up, to feel the wind’s teeth on her face and hear the rush of the water fill her ears.

Nayoung does not like running away from her problems but this - no, no, no thinking about it until she gets to the water, until she can hear something and be calm. She is almost there, just another footbridge dimly light in orange and the park by the water beyond it. She takes the stairs three at a time, feels the burn in her muscles and gulps in the cold.

There. The water.

She finds her usual spot through the tall grass down tiny fork in the well worn dirt trail and sits down on a rock, looks out across the river.

The far shore glistens with the soothing glow of orange street lamps, the faint humming buzz of cars as more and more of the city wakes up.

The water gently laps at the stones by her feet.

She tugs off a glove, dips a finger into the ice cold water, swirls it around, feels the sensation disappear from her fingertip. 

A bird flies overhead. 

She draws her finger back out and pulls the glove back on, lets her shoulders sag, closes her eyes and just listens.

She knows.

Coming here has not made a difference. It has not changed what she already knows to be true, that she does not know exactly what she wants but also that she knows what she does not want to happen.

She should not have.

There are so many things she should not have done.

Should not have said she had done it.

Should not have said yes.

Should not have gone ahead.

Should not have let her do those things.

Should not have stayed.

Should not have listened.

_ Should not have fallen in the first damn place. _

Nayoung buries her head in her hands.

She is so screwed. 

Literally and figuratively, her brain supplies, and she lets out an airy huff of wry laughter, watches the vapor in her breath disappear into the dark night air.

She is an proper, mature adult. And proper, mature adults can deal with their personal problems without destroying their teams or ruining their futures. Responsible adults acknowledge and apologize for their mistakes and do their damn best to not repeat them.

She is a responsible adult, Nayoung tells herself.

* * *

She watches more lights turn on in the apartment buildings across the river, sits in the same rock as the water plays with the very base of her sneakers.

Then a rustling of the grass, a little too loud and close to be the wind.

She grasps tightly onto the keys to the apartment, puts it between her fingers as she clenches her fist, tenses but does not say anything.

The park has always been her sanctuary at all times of the day - it is not quite the fear that someone else, someone potentially dangerous is here, that strikes her, but the sudden immediate sense of loss that her safe place is just gone that cuts straight into her heart.

Nevertheless she slowly turns to face the dirt path, the fork in the tall grass as the footsteps grow closer.

Her palms start to sweat.

“N-Nayoung?”

She freezes, hears the footsteps grow closer then head away, down the other path in the fork.

She hears it again this time, but fainter.

“Nayoung?”

Nayoung wants to laugh and cry at the same time but then Jieqiong might actually walk straight into the river, or worse still, get lost in the dark, so she stands, puts the keys back into her pocket, says, “Back here.”

The rustling in the grass gets a lot louder and a terrified Jieqiong holding her phone out for light comes skidding to a halt in front of her, a few stray hairs sticking to the side of her face. 

Jieqiong’s sweater is on backwards and those are a pair of Chungha’s grey socks that stick out from the tops of her sneakers.

The look of relief on her face is too much to bear and Nayoung turns away, sits back down on the rock.

She almost cannot believe the scaredy-cat walked here in the middle of the night, fought her way down this path to the river bank and actually found her.

You’ve taken her here before, her brain supplies again, most unhelpfully, and she is a klutz, not an idiot. You know that.

A soft squeak and then a thud has her turn back around to see Jieqiong sitting on the nearest flat rock, hand somehow in the river water.

Klutz indeed.

Nayoung raises her eyebrows at Jieqiong’s sheepish look, hides her laughter behind her eyes and then turns back to face the opposite river bank.

Some rustling and she turns her head just a little to see Jieqiong sitting in a different position and a smear of a handprint across her sweater, presumably where she just wiped her hand.

Nayoung smiles at the water and they lapse into silence punctuated only by the river and the low hum of traffic. She could just leave now that her thoughts have settled and she is no longer alone but part of her wants to sit and watch the sun rise.

* * *

A sneeze breaks the silence.

Then another, and Nayoung turns.

“‘scuse me,” Jieqiong mumbles into her sweater paws, the slightest bit of collarbone sticking out as she shakes head and shivers.

Nayoung belatedly realizes that Jieqiong is not in fact sitting on her coat, that the idiot had probably not brought a coat out of the dorm in the middle of the night in the middle of winter.

She sighs, gestures to her.

Jieqiong blinks dumbly back.

Nayoung sighs again, “Come here, idiot.”

“Huh?”

Nayoung holds half of her coat open, looks down at her own sweater then back up at Jieqiong.

Jieqiong’s eyes light up as she stands. 

She promptly steps into a puddle, whines but manages to make her way over without spraining an ankle and snuggles in under Nayoung’s arm, winding her own arm around her waist, resting her head on Nayoung’s shoulder.

Nayoung wonders if Jieqiong can hear how quickly her heart is beating.

If she can, it shows in the small content smile and the crinkle of her nose.

It is in that one moment that Nayoung realizes that she cannot go back.

* * *

“You know,” Jieqiong says quietly, drawing a circle on her ribs through her sweater, “you’re too nice.”

Nayoung looks down, meets her eyes.

Jieqiong looks away first, “I’m sorry.”

Nayoung lets the water fill the silence.

“You heard me, didn’t you?”

Nayoung waits to see if the birds flying above will answer but they do not.

“Yes,” Nayoung says finally, and stills when what she really wants to do is pull away and run for the hills.

She wonders why Jieqiong does not run away - goodness knows she would if she were in that position, but instead the finger on her ribs just slows and the other arm trembles lightly.

“I-I’m sorry,” Jieqiong says again into her shoulder, then Nayoung feels the shaking and looks down at the crown of Jieqiong’s head, hears a soft sniffle.

She draws the other in tighter even though she does not understand, lets Jieqiong cry into her sweater and feels terrible about the soft sinking of her heart, knows that this is something that she cannot let herself have no matter how much she wants it.

“You must-,” Jieqiong pulls away a little, sniffles into her own sweater paws, looks up at her with apprehension, then shakes her head, bites her lower lip.

Nayoung’s gaze softens, recognizes the look of guilt, recognizes the guilt as it reflects inside her own stomach, bounces about in her and makes her sick.

_ You think all I did was listen. _

* * *

“-can we still be friends?” comes the soft whisper later, “If nothing else, can we still be friends? D-Did I-”

“Is it too late to be friends?”

Nayoung’s heart slowly crumbles. 

She sits there, looks back at those eyes she cannot say no to, then tears her gaze away back to the far shore.

She feels Jieqiong slowly freeze.

“Nayoung, I-”

“I’m going to need some time,” she finds herself saying, finds her mouth moving to make words that she cannot believe she had it in herself to say.

The head on her shoulder nods, nuzzles deeper in and Nayoung wants to cry at the silence.

“I’ll, I’ll give you all the time you need,” Jieqiong says, holds onto her with what feels like one long, last squeeze, “just, don’t leave me?”

Jieqiong is cruel.

She should have known, she should have known, and deep inside, Nayoung knows that what she said is true, that there is no way she could leave, no way she could tear herself away from this orbit she has entered into, no way to divorce her personal self from her work and her group and Jieqiong, cruel, cruel, lovely Jieqiong will always be there no matter what she does.

Nayoung knows she cannot leave, Jieqiong should know she cannot leave, so why she asks this Nayoung does not understand.

She says nothing.

“Nayoung?”

Jieqiong’s eyes flick up to her face, their gazes meet, “S-Say something.”

Nayoung swallows.

“Please,” Jieqiong’s voice falls to a whisper.

Nayoung’s hand falls from Jieqiong’s shoulder, leaves the coat draped over but taking some of the warmth with her as she goes.

“What if,” she says, “what if I don’t know if I can be friends with you?”

She knows she could try, she could try, also knows that she should try, that it is her being unfair for expecting any more than was offered, that it was never meant to be this, never meant to be anything more than what it was.

But the simple thought of having to be there, to be there all this time, to keep seeing and to keep knowing and to never be able to say anything, to have to be able to set her heart aside in a jar and watch upon it from afar, Nayoung does not know if she will have the strength. She knows she does not now, does not know if she will ever.

Jieqiong flinches, “I-”

She turns her head into Nayoung’s sweater, “I never meant for this to happen.”

Nayoung closes her eyes.

_ Neither did she. _

“I didn’t think this would-I’m so, so, sorry. I just-”

Nayoung gently threads her fingers into Jieqiong’s hair, combs down. If just for the last time, if just for this one last time, she can have this one moment to keep.

A short, soft, pained laugh around a sob, “you’re too nice to me.”

Her hand stops.

“After all I’ve done, after how-how-how disgusted you must be,” Jieqiong struggles to say the word, chokes out, “after all that, you’re still trying to make me feel better. I-I don’t deserve you, I can’t- You must hate me.”

Nayoung freezes, then the world comes crashing back in color as the realization sets in and she can suddenly breathe again.

“You’re an idiot,” she says as the bubble of laughter threatens to break through, “I could never hate you.”

“Huh?” Jieqiong’s head whips up all dribbly. She wipes her nose with a sweater paw, “H-Huh? I mean, I know that was dumb but why are you-”

Nayoung puts a finger to her lips, watches as Jieqiong’s eyes flick down to the finger, then back up to hers.

Nayoung meets her gaze, oh how she loves those eyes, confused, a little frightened as they are but with the tiniest glimmer of hope.

“What if I said I don’t know because that’s not what I want?”

Jieqiong’s eyes flick down to the finger on her lips again, then back up as she frowns, wanting to speak, and all Nayoung wants to do is laugh although her stomach is a bundle of nerves.

“What if,” she says, with courage she does not feel, “what if I want something more?”

She lifts the finger, watches as her words slowly sink in.

“You don’t hate me,” Jieqiong says, eyes widening.

Nayoung shakes her head.

“You don’t.”

Another shake and a small sheepish smile, “I don’t think I could if I tried.”

“And you said something else after that,” Jieqiong says, a teasing lilt in her voice and Nayoung’s favorite smile breaking out over her face, her nose scrunching up, eyes half-closed.

Nayoung flushes at how close they still are, “d-did I?”

“Uh huh,” she grins, and leans in.

Nayoung meets her halfway as the first rays of the sun peek out over the apartment buildings on the far shore.

* * *

_ A/N: This might not be what most people expected. This is not really what I expected either, not something I'd planned when I'd started but this is what came to be. I'm leaving space for a potential epilogue in the style of chapters 1 and 2 *cough* but for now this piece is where I want it to be. Leave a comment if you'd like the epilogue. Thanks for following along. Can't have been easy :P _


	5. Fool For You

“You were thinking of me,” Nayoung pauses. 

Jieqiong whines at the sudden loss of contact but Nayoung just takes this moment to drink her in. 

Jieqiong’s hair is splayed out across the pillow, her hands gripping the sheets, chest heaving, eyes darkened. Nayoung still cannot quite believe she gets to bear witness to this sight, gets to be the one who makes her writhe and beg and moan.

“Weren't you?” She prompts for an answer.

“Nayoung~” 

Jieqiong whines again, reaches her hands out to grab for Nayoung's but she gently bats them aside and simply levels her with a glance.

Jieqiong pouts.

“Yes, yes, I was, alright. Can we continue?”

Nayoung smirks, leans in as her fingers trail slowly downward.

“Was it good?”

“H-Huh?” Jieqiong’s eyes that had fluttered shut at her touch now spring open as Nayoung pauses.

“I asked you a question,” Nayoung whispers into her ear, “I expect an answer.”

“O-Ok,” her hips twitch as Nayoung plays with a nipple, flicks it gently.

A light pinch when there is still no answer and Jieqiong visibly bites back a moan. 

“Well?”

“Yes-s-sh-ah,” another pinch and this time a soft moan.

Nayoung dips her fingers in, feels Jieqiong bear down around her.

“Nayoung,” comes a soft needy whisper, “kiss me?”

She does.

* * *

It is not often at all that this happens but some of the Seventeen boys are also in the company building. Nayoung nods at Seungcheol and Jeonghan, walks past the closed studio with Jihoon in it, then sees Minkyung and Eunwoo cornering someone although they let them go the moment they see her.

Interesting.

“Hey,” she says to the tall gangly figure about to turn the corner.

Minkyung and Eunwoo exchange a look of some sort before they bolt off past Minghao. Nayoung can only assume they are still hiding behind the corner.

He stops, turns back with a smile, “Oh, Nayoung-noona.”

Nayoung notes that he seems almost to relax when he sees her.

“Do you have a moment?”

He nods.

Nayoung’s eyes flick to the corner.

“We can chat in private,” he says.

Nayoung thinks she hears a soft ‘oh shit’ from around the corner but she cannot be entirely sure.

* * *

Nayoung closes the door to the studio behind her, watches Minghao take a seat on the couch.

“So uh,” Minghao says, “you actually know, right?”

He bends forward, plays with his fingers, looks increasingly nervous with every passing second that Nayoung spends thinking.

“Know?”

He pales, freezes.

This piques Nayoung’s curiosity. Minghao is probably referring to that night Jieqiong mentioned to her, but there is something interesting about his choice of words.

“Is there something I should be knowing?”

He sighs, then scratches his head, leans back and closes his eyes before shooting her a wry smile.

“Promise not to tell?”

Nayoung raises an eyebrow.

Minghao sighs again, “Fine, promise not to tell Jieqiong I told you this?”

Nayoung looks at him.

“Ok, at least just don’t tell her for like a month? We still have promotions and I want to be alive.”

Nayoung nods.

* * *

Nayoung pushes her up against the bathroom counter, kisses her urgently, wishes they had done this during the Whatta Man era because someone sent around those pictures of that choker with that strap and her fingers itch to wrap around it to tug Jieqiong closer.

“W-Wha-” Jieqiong manages around kisses, eyes closed.

Nayoung winds a hand under her shirt, squeezes, and Jieqiong moans into her mouth.

Then a hand moves towards the waistband of Jieqiong’s skirt and Jieqiong’s eyes snap open.

“What’s the occasion,” she breathes, pulling away from Nayoung.

Nayoung licks her lips, smirks, “I just learnt something interesting.”

Jieqiong frowns, pats her shirt down.

“What?”

Nayoung leans in, “You tell me.”

Jieqiong’s eyes flick to Nayoung’s own, way too close to her face, then away to the left, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You don’t?”

Jieqiong shakes her head, eyes moving to Nayoung’s mouth.

“I had a little chat,” she says, “with Minghao.”

Jieqiong freezes, almost flinches at the way his name leaves her lips.

“Yes,” Nayoung says, “what do you think he told me?”

Jieqiong swallows, looks like she wants to bolt. 

Nayoung places her hand on Jieqiong’s wrist, gently but firmly holding her in place. Jieqiong makes half a movement, almost as if she is thinking of throwing Nayoung’s hand off but then deciding not to.

“Hm?” Nayoung prompts.

“I-”

She can feel Jieqiong’s racing heartbeat on her fingers, will not admit that it excites her.

“You lied to me,” Nayoung whispers, pauses, “I don’t think I’m going to let you get away with that.”

Jieqiong’s eyes close, a small smile comes to her face before it grows into a smirk and her eyes open.

“Really.”

Nayoung closes the gap.

* * *

_A/N: There you have it. Thanks for following along. Do leave me ideas for the next piece and we'll see how that goes. Cheers._


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